Do you ever have those long, sleepless nights that are spent wondering what could’ve or should’ve been, or how things could be or how they’ve been all along. I remember waking up to your face and spending every second with you and not a second passed that I wasn’t happy. I remember crying, sobbing, in your arms and how you just told me it would be okay and I really believed it for the moment; everything was going to be okay. I remember you holding my hand as we walked down the dark emptied streets of our own suburban hell, we were scared but I knew I’d be okay, and I think you knew too. I could just tell by the smile on your face. Or when you held my hand for no absolute reason in front of your family. How I long for those long unsober talks on life and the future and how it felt like it lasted for eternity. You’re the only thing on my mind, and those words, “I don’t care where I sleep,” you’d said. “As long as I’m with you.” And I don’t think I’ve ever felt more complete in my life. I don’t think your smile can’t phase me for a minute. I’m just waiting for the day you realize you’re in love with me, just as I am in love with you.
I always wonder; when you’re laying in your bed do I ever pop up in the back of your mind? Does some part of you wish you were as in love with me as I was with you?
I never regretted loving you, even though I knew you’d never love me as much back.
Them: We’re different, I promise. I promise I won’t hurt you like they did. I love you baby.
Me: ok, I believe you. I love you.
Me: wow, fuck you.
its just funny how things add up in the end. Its funny how birds chirp at dawn, or how the sun never really sets, its just on the opposite side of the world. And how someone can love you one day and you wake up the next morning and they’re gone. I find it kind of strange that whenever I’m with someone, and we break up, they always say how they’ll never find anyone better, how they’ll never move on but then they’re fine and onto the next one. Sometimes it takes years, or sometimes its just the next day. I am just one of those, just someone you can temporarily be in love with until you fall for someone else. And no one understands why I think I’m worthless, everyone disagrees but if you disagreed, why can’t you prove it instead of treating me like I am? Its odd how when we’re young all we dream about is love but when its finally our turn, when its laying in our hands, we don’t know what to do with it, we let it slip through our fingers. Instead of grasping the feeling in our palms, we let it fade into the wind, like it had never been there in the first place.